[ give ME this day ]

                                                                                                                                                                 

MY JESUS LOVES ME

my monthly $1,200 medicine is given to me for free

MY JESUS LOVES ME

I get to mentor 5 missionaries weekly

MY JESUS LOVES ME

I get exactly what I need to pay to bills and buy some coffee

MY JESUS LOVES ME

I get asked to house sit the day I get home from missionary work for a family i just met

MY JESUS LOVES ME

southwest airlines gave me $635 to take a later flight, and I didn’t even buy the ticket in the first place

MY JESUS LOVES ME

[and yet sometimes I forget]

Sometimes I think God why can’t i have a normal stable job.

 Sometimes i ask God what in the world are you doing, can you let me in on your plan?

and then He reminds me, HE LOVES ME and saves things for me not from me...and OH how incredible that is!

                                                                                                                                                                   

Coming home from Africa has been the most interesting season. I'm pretty sure my first Sunday back I went to church 4 times. I constantly, daily, momently recognize my desire for more of Jesus. I have seen Him meet every need and far exceed my expectations in the most random and unexpected.

I often feel like a wandering Israelite. Leaving a foreign land,  in hope of what is to come, and in the waiting.  The Lord was so faithful and consistent in their journey, but I wonder if they ever thought “Are we going to eat today?” I mean their manna just appeared. Out of no where. Can you imagine? Really think about it. Having no possible way to eat, and then waking up to just enough food right next to you. How can you not, just fall down on your knees in admiration. Yet I know their story all to well. The Lord does these beautiful signs and wonders right before my eyes, and here I am working on my golden calf so I can worship something tangible. When all along He is calling me to trust and commit my ways to Him knowing He will act.

Upon praying for this year, my german host brother, told me I was like a field being prepared for planting. But as any farmer would know the soil must be toiled with, tossed to and fro, worked in, and just right. The farmer has studied the soil well. He knows exactly what it needs to reap the best harvest. He cautioned me by saying, “Don’t try to make the field look all nice and perfect, unless the soil is prepared and ready.” Oh friends let me tell you, this soil of my soul is being prepared and refined for something big. Even as I know this and write this I laugh at myself. It seems like each moment I get, I look up to my Heavenly Father and ask, “Are we ready yet? Can we be ready now? I think this is the right time”,  Yet each morning He brings my manna and says this is your portion.

I know I will reach the promise land, but for now my lot is wondering. My call is to wander as purposely and faithful as possible knowing that my reaction is my testimony. Each moment Satan would love for me to doubt, but I can also choose to sing my Father’s sweet praises. So graciously I take the latter. I want to embrace each moment Father God has blessed me with. So I embrace being the crazy person singing off key to my Abba, praying far too loud, and taking any moment to serve and declare....

MY JESUS LOVES ME