Broken Stillness.

He MAKES me lie down.

I have read psalm 23 more than I can count. 

Never did I notice that he MAKES me lie down.

until now.

I recently found out that when a shepherd sees a sheep going wayward, wanting to be independent, he breaks his legs. Then gently  picks it up and carries it all the way back to show it the way to abide in.

He MAKES me lie down. He allows me to be broken so he can show me what it is to lie beside still waters. To restore my soul.

I look at sheep and think how can you not follow the shepherd. Such a simple task. Do you not know He knows what is best. Do you not know HE will lead you. guide you. and protect you.

Upon my return to Africa I have been made to lie down. literally. with arthritis, malaria (sorry mom for not telling you), and weariness. 

He broke my legs.

My first five months here I have learned so much about myself and saw Father God answer prayer after prayer. I felt I had the rhythm down. I could go to teams and help solve all their problems, wake up early to have crazy stories to tell, and sit through long church services that I could post on Facebook about. Yet is that why He brought me here?

In the past few weeks  where I have been made to lie down and listen to the still waters. The Lord brought me to psalm 127:1 “ Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” 

Was I really allowing the Lord to work and seeking him to build this house? or was I striving and struggling to make things happen. If I solve the problems in the teams here, why should they depend on God to teach them through the struggle? Was I building my own kingdom forgetting that I came to build His?

In this season I have seen how precious it is to be still, but how hard I struggle against it. As I seek the Lord each morning it never fails that He brings me to a conversation with a student or missionary about that very same topic I studied. He has slowed me down to fill me up. He has shown me that I am not here to win the approval of man or to strive to make things come to pass. He has brought me here to come along still waters and bring others with me. 

The Lord is my Shepherd. 

 I

shall

not

want