the {ART} of sitting.

Why do you try so hard? 

Why do you feel that you must earn my love?

Why do you think everything I ask of you must be hard? 

If I were to have sit down conversation with the Creator of the Universe I am pretty sure it would go something like this. Him showing me that I make everything so hard, and all he wants me to be is like Mary anointing his feet. In essence He is saying:

Let ME help you.

Let ME show you a love that redeems. 

Let ME remind you that I have already earned everything for you.

I never really understood that story of Mary. I mean it sounds nice. When I think of her pouring out her precious perfume, I think how did she know what to do? did she know she was suppose to do that? I always make it something that should be figured out or accomplished. Not realizing that as you get closer and closer to the heart of Father, it is something that just comes from you. No one told Mary what to do. She couldn’t help BUT do it. It came from the outpouring of her heart. In her mind nothing else mattered, but sitting in Jesus’s sweet presence and adoring him.

That is where Jesus has brought me. He has reminded me that I have tried and tried and tried to earn what i cannot earn. Through that I have become so tired and weary, so confused and frustrated, and completely and utterly unworthy...but isn’t that what I already am? 

As I sit at His feet now He smiles and reminds me this is where He has always wanted me. That in my coming and going and trying, I am missing all the beauty that He has for me. 

In light of sitting at my Creator’s feet I have seen the picture He has always intended for me, but I have constantly been missing. I have seen prayer answered like never before, because I had to rely on Him to answer. I have seen doors open to schools that were said would never open. I have seen the freedom of the cross. 

....as you read the prayers answered may you not just say, “that’s amazing!” but may you sit at our Abba’s feet and thank him for your answered prayers, and thank Him for His faithfulness:

• My mom needed surgery on her knee. we prayed that she wouldn’t need surgery, and now she no longer needs surgery. We are now praying for a full recovery.
• We prayed for my friends stomach illness, and she said as soon as we prayed she felt a complete difference. We are now praying for full healing and know Father will do it.
• We had team members that didn’t have money for transportation. That morning a teacher gave each of us 5 cedes (dollars) each. 
• We prayed for more availability in Ghana International School because we were told we could only meet before school starts. We now have teachers that have invited us into their classrooms during school hours, and are planning to join a school field trip to serve the community.
• As we have prayed for specific people the Lord has brought us to certain passages and words that when we tell those people they say that it was exactly the word they needed to hear.
• Before I visit a team I pray for them. The Lord brings to my mind certain things that need to be addressed that I know nothing about. One particular time the Team Leader said it was the exact issue he was praying about the night before. 

This is only the beginning! As I read 1 Corinthians 2:9 “ What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, not the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who LOVE him.” I was in such awe. That is me and you. God has prepared far greater things than this, and all He asks me to do is sit at His feet and watch as He declares and fulfills His promises. 

To say this is freeing is an understatement, because to be honest I was getting tired and warn out. Now I feel stronger and more empowered then ever. Nothing has changed except my perspective and position. I still get up from around 4:30 to 5:20 on a regular basis, and my arthritis has good and bad days...but as I sat in church the other day I began to thank God for those very things. In that and through that I am caused to sit and Jesus’s feet saying, “I can’t do this without you.” 

 A perfect example of this was when I was asked to lead a group of 25 kids in a 30 minute devotion 2 minutes before I was suppose to start. Everything in me wanted to pass it off to someone else, but as I did it I felt the beauty of what it is to let Father lead. At the end of the lesson one of my team members complimented me on the lesson and said I must have prepared it in advance...to which I laughed knowing only the Lord could make that happen.

I have been blessed to hear of students that I have lead in the past understand this very thing. One girl back in Texas, who is quite shy and didn’t like to speak in front of people, got up in front of her entire church and talked of the prayer walks we went on last year. Along with that she encouraged the entire church to do the same, which they all did that Sunday. She gets it. 

She is sitting alongside me saying, “Jesus, here I am use me.” 

I don’t know what questions you have for Father, or better yet what questions He has for you, but I will say that when you Seek Him you will Find Him. I know this is just beginning of the Mighty things the Lord will do in my life this year. Please continue to pray for our teams as we teach students how to study God’s word and empower them to do the same with their friends. Pray that we would never hesitate to share what the Lord has done in our lives and teams. Also let us know how we can pray for you and support you. We are community and we want to be actively involved in supporting each other. 

As I end I think of this song: ‘The more I SEEK you, the more I FIND you. The more I find you, the more I love you. I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand, lay back against you and breath, feel your heartbeat.’

Friends, there is no place I would rather be.

Jess

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