Presently Messy.

{ living in the present }

downside: not everything is as you expected

upside: not everything is as you expected

While in search for what God asked of me in 2014.  I kept being brought back to the present. Where life happens and Father is moving.

but.

Aren't I already
there? with my bazillion well thought out INSTA gram photos and videos...

With every photo I take and perfectly placed moment, I miss what is really happening.

the present.

In the present emotions can be left raw and bare. love can be experienced in the beauty of the moment. our papas plans can be lived, instead of documented.

I was recently asked what was the most beautiful place I had seen in my travels...and I was left speechless. (which is hard to do)

I only came up with precious memories of giggling and sitting on dirt hills while singing Jesus loves me with my African friends ....or peering into my mamas eyes, in the Vatican, only to see her tear filled ones matched my own..... or sitting and drinking Swabian beer with my German buddies while watching the sunset over massive wheat fields.

Now many of those are exquisite within itself. Africa. Vatican. Sunsets. Swabian beer.

That was not what gave it its beauty. It was that moment. That irreplaceable moment. That time Father had planned for me and I allowed myself to be. To not think about plans to come or what I had done prior, but instead I was just there. Every part of me... was there.

So as I embark on this venture, I return to my writing as well. To unclench my fists and allow myself to  live present. in the vulnerable, uncontrollable, messy, and where my ever present Abba abides.